


Fallen

by disarmlow



Series: I have come to lead you to the other shore [5]
Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angel Kim Jongin | Kai, Angel Kim Taehyung | V, Angst, F/M, Fallen Angel Kim Jongin, Jealousy, Kim Taehyung is adjusting poorly to humanity, Possessive Sex, Taemin is drinking his feelings for the next two parts, This is more angst than porn, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Sex, big big angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:08:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21519430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disarmlow/pseuds/disarmlow
Summary: Every fallen angel has a story. Jongin just wishes his had a better ending.Meanwhile, he tries to help his old colleague, Kim Taehyung, understand humanity, while Incubus Park Jimin occupies the human.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Original Female Character(s), Kim Taehyung | V/Reader, Yeontan - Relationship
Series: I have come to lead you to the other shore [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551034
Kudos: 15





	Fallen

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct sequel to both Brimstone and Gimme Shelter, so please read those first! Thank you so much if anyone is reading this garbage

Jongin can’t help but be a bit nervous when he’s summoned.

The last time he’d been with a human woman….well, it certainly hadn’t ended well.

He would have been perfectly okay with working in the mines of hell to pay his debts, but Taemin had something different in mind.

“You’ll go to her alone tonight, yeah?”

Jimin makes a sound of protest but Taemin just shoots him a look and Jimin quiets, although he’s pouting.

“You think I’m ready?”

Taemin brushes his hair back, sighing. He looks like he hasn’t slept. “You’re ready. I’ve got…business to take care of, and you could use the practice.”

Jongin’s approaching your door when Jimin slips in front of him.

“Take the night off.”

Jongin raises an eyebrow. “I work for Taemin, not you.”

Jimin smiles disarmingly. “I know, but I’m offering to take your place. Don’t you deserve to do a little sightseeing? Angels don’t get down here much, right?”

“I’ve seen enough,” Jongin mumbles, and a pair of bright eyes flash in his memory, making his breath catch.

Jimin’s smile fades a little.

“Listen, Jongin, I’ll level with you. Taemin is distracted by his old flame and you…. you’re kind of a pushover.”

Jongin makes a distressed sound in the back of his throat.

“It’s true,” Jimin continues. “And the thing is….I like this human.”

“Our human,” Jongin corrects, and Jimin’s face grows serious.

“I want her to be my human. And if you help me, I’ll tell you a secret.”

Jongin thinks for a minute. “What kind of secret?”

“One that will help you lessen your debt significantly.”

“Fine, but you’re taking the heat from Taemin.”

Jimin grins. “So, I’ve heard there’s a new angel that recently fell. Sounds like he has a similar story to yours. Maybe you could teach him the ropes, so to speak.”

“You mean try to tempt him?”

Jimin sighs. “I’m not gonna spell it out for you. Consider it a helping hand. He should know how humans really are.”

Jongin leaves Jimin with an address and a bit of a dilemma.

It isn’t as if he’d wanted to spend most of eternity working for demon royalty. When he’d fallen, it’d been for a reason, one he tried his best not to think about. He didn’t care about tempting mortals or taking souls or even lessening his debt.

But…if this former angel was in the same situation he was …he could warn him.

When he arrives at the address he knocks, feeling odd about just appearing, and a man with a furrowed brow answers. The face is familiar, and Jongin smiles.

“Hello, Taehyung." 

"Jongin? What…what are you doing here?”

“I heard you took the plunge. Thought maybe I could help.”

Taehyung is still frowning when Jongin slips past him.

“What happened to you? You just disappeared one day.”

Jongin sits at the table. “You think you’re the first one to fall for your ward? You had it easy with yours, you know. Mine wasn’t nearly as careful.”

Taehyung sits, and Jongin starts his story, allowing him to get lost in his memories.

_That was an understatement. Jongin’s assignment was Maria, the sister of a low-level thug. She worked as a bartender and Jongin watched her like a hawk. The first human emotions he felt through her were fear and anxiety. She’d grown up around guns and drugs and violence and it was work, protecting her._

_He’d filled out all the paperwork for a visit and been approved right away, as she was in almost constant danger._

_He’d followed every rule. Except one._

_She’d been so afraid when he’d first appeared, scrambling under her bed, and he’d sat on the floor for hours, talking to her in a low, calm voice, until she crawled out to talk to him._

_It’d been like taking care of a wounded animal, slow, careful. She’d get a bit closer every hour until eventually, she fell asleep, her head on his shoulder, and Jongin would never forget how that felt, watching her sleep, how proud he felt that she finally felt safe enough to rest._

_The first time she kissed him, he had thought his heart would burst._

_The first time he thought about falling was when she moaned into his mouth, clutching at his chest, a moment later._

_The actual decision to fall had never been much of a decision in the first place. It’d been just a few days later, when he’d been gearing up to leave, thinking he’d made her safe, trying to tell himself he could handle just watching when he knew what her skin felt like beneath his hands._

_She’d run out for soju, telling him she wanted to celebrate cutting ties with her brother like he’d wanted._

_He’d felt the gunshot before he heard it, and that’s when he’d felt that tug, the pull back home, and he fought like mad when he’d been yanked back to heaven, screaming and kicking at Namjoon._

_“Listen to me, Jongin. Listen! You can’t help her if you-”_

_But it was too late, he’d already chosen, and he’d ignored the way humanity fell down on him like a hammer, how he felt the sudden weight of bones and flesh just to get to her._

_She’d been gasping for air, and he doesn’t realize that the fluid sticking to his palms is blood until much later._

_He had thought it was raining until he realizes he’s crying and Maria gasped out his name and she’s dying and no one will answer him, he’s calling to heaven, his brothers, and they’ve forsaken him because he’d fought his way back, because he’d fallen in love, let himself be tainted._

_It was only moments before he goes the other way, hands shaking as he makes the pentagram with her blood, mumbling half-forgotten Latin._

_It was Taemin, of course, who had come._

_And he’d saved her. He’d saved her and damned him and Jongin was still grateful, despite what had happened next._

_🔥  
_

Taehyung is blinking, mouth open.

“Jongin…. I'm…. I’m sorry. I would’ve done the same.”

Jongin’s mouth twists in a bitter grin.

“That’s the thing, Taehyung. You shouldn’t.”

Taehyung cocks his head, confused, and Jongin sighs. Taehyung looks tired, as if he’s still having trouble sleeping, as if he’s still adjusting to humanity.

“Humans… They don’t love like we do. They don’t understand forever. Don’t you wonder why you feel things so strongly now? They burn so brightly because they burn out so quickly. They can’t help being fickle.”

Taehyung frowns, all still, and Jongin can tell he’s still adjusting, uncomfortable in his skin, fidgeting a little because he’s anxious.

It brings a lot back to him.

“Fickle?” Taehyung asks, and Jongin continues.

🔥 

_It didn’t happen all at once._

_Maria was healed, and everything should have been fine. Everything was fine, Jongin kept telling himself. Everything was just fine, as it should be, with Maria sleeping on his chest at night, and him afraid to sleep for the nightmares where she’s bleeding and dying again._

_He wakes up reaching for her, panic rising in his throat when she isn’t there, when she’s gotten up to get tea or go to the bathroom._

_Jongin tries his best to hide it, how worried he is when she’s not in his sight._

_He’d been watching her for years, after all, able to see her every move, and it was so…so different now._

_Now he doesn’t see what she’s doing, doesn’t feel what she feels._

_He feels a lot, feels too much, all these emotions wreaking havoc on his new human body. He’s plagued with nightmares, migraines, insomnia …he’s barely able to keep food down the first week._

_He’d read human literature, talking about the heart, about heartbreak, but he’d found he felt most emotions in his gut, making his stomach roll, or in his throat, panic seeming to tighten it until he’s breathing through a pinhole. He tries to hide it, how hard it is to be made of nothing but skin and bone and feelings._

_Maria does try to help, crooning to him when he wakes up whimpering and reaching out for her. She’s patient with him when he grows jealous, when she goes out to lunch, when he can’t see her._

_It makes him wild, anxious, pacing around the kitchen._

_When she comes home with a mark on her throat he didn’t leave, he can’t breathe, excuses himself to go to the bathroom where he lets himself feel it, hyperventilating, ending up sitting in front of the toilet and throwing up bile like he’s purging all the jealousy and rage and pain._

_He doesn’t feel like he can breathe again until she’s wiping his face with a cool cloth, voice low and soothing._

_She doesn’t ask him what’s wrong and later, when he grabs her, kisses her hard, bruising her lips, leaving his own marks on her throat, her inner thighs, the curve of her hip, she doesn’t protest._

_It’s gradual, how she slips away, and it feels like his breastbone has cracked when she turns away from him in the night, and he tries to hold her anyway but where she had been soft before she feels like hard lines now, like her skin is suddenly foreign to his touch._

_It isn’t right, it feels wrong somewhere in his bones, panic rising in him every time she walks out the door._

_Jongin is confused by the mix of emotions he feels when she stays gone all night a few months later. There’s panic and fear but mostly, anger and he doesn’t know what to do with it._

_He wants to break things, yell, and it doesn’t hit him until she walks in the door that all of that rage is because he wants so badly to fight for her but he doesn’t know how._

_His throat tightens when he tries to speak, and it comes out weak and strangled._

_“Where have you been, Jagiya?”_

_“Jongin….”_

_Tears are already rolling down her cheeks and there are rocks in his stomach._

_His limbs feel heavy, throat so tight he can barely breathe, as she explains._

_She’s sobbing when she apologizes, tells him she didn’t mean for any of this to happen and he can have the apartment, that she wants to be friends, wants to help him._

_He laughs at that, a bitter sound low in his throat._

_“I sold my soul for you, Jagiya.”_

_She’s crying so hard and he hates hates hates her but mostly he hates himself for wanting to hold her, wanting to beg her not to go._

_He wants to ask her who he is, ask her why, ask her what he’d done wrong, but none of that matters, in the end._

“She…she left?” Taehyung asks, mouth hanging open.

“No. I did. I left and went to Taemin, started trying to pay down my debt.”

“My girl wouldn’t do that. She’d never do that.” Taehyung says, firmly, but his lip is trembling.

Jongin just looks at him, suddenly tired from telling the story, from all the stupid human emotions it brought up. “For your sake, I hope not.”

In the end, he isn’t there to tempt him. He just wants to warn him. Wants to prepare him for the way humans are, how their love fades.

He leaves his former colleague sitting shell shocked at the table, finds himself walking around familiar streets with her on his mind, and he’s not even quite surprised when he sees her.

🔥

Taehyung doesn’t know how to feel about all this, he’d never considered the possibility that this could end, that you might leave, and he’s so overwhelmed that for a while, he feels blissfully numb.

It isn’t until over an hour passes and you’re still not home that Jongin’s story echoes in his mind, and then his breath starts to shorten, pulse pounding in his temples when he thinks of possible parallels.

By the time you come in with the groceries, his heart is racing and he takes the bags from you, tosses them on the counter, and corners you against the door as it swings shut.

“Where have you been?” His voice is low, much calmer than he’d expected, because he’s looking at how your hair has fallen out of the tight bun it was in and wondering if someone had run their hands through it, and his blood is boiling.

You frown up at him. “I’ve been getting groceries? I wanted to cook-”

Taehyung isn’t used to not knowing exactly what his body will do next, and his eyes are on the line of your throat, looking for marks, and when he finds none but his own he leans down and bites at the side of your throat, right over the raised scar he’d left.

Before, he’d felt guilt for marking you for life, kissed it softly, but tonight he’s proud, tonight his head is chanting, mine mine mine and when you moan out his name, he’s rock hard beneath the new sweats you’d bought him.

He realizes that he hasn’t made love to you since he’d fallen, that he’d been too busy adjusting, and God, what did humans do with all this lust? There’s something like angelfire under his skin, blood pulsing through his cock, balls tightening with need and he’s almost snarling when he kisses you, his teeth catching your lip, iron on his tongue.

It’s like being hungry, like starving, and he’s got to have your cunt pulsing around him or he feels like his head might explode with all his racing thoughts.

He lifts you up by your hips, groceries discarded, but you’re moaning against his mouth and he can’t make it to the bedroom, bunching up your dress and ripping your cotton panties to get his hand cupping your sex.

“Taehyung,” you gasp out, and he loves his name on your lips, loves how hot your cunt is when he dips two fingers inside and all he can think is that he’d lose his mind if anyone else did this to you. He could remember it all, now, the men who’d come before him, when he’d had to watch, and rage pulses in his temples.

He pulls away from marking up your throat to see your face.

“Say it again," He rasps, and replaces his fingers with his cock, thrusting up into you hard, something like a growl coming from his throat.

"Taehyung,” you say again, almost breathless, and he doesn’t know why tears spring to his eyes.

“You wouldn’t leave me, Jagi?” He hears the desperation in his voice and he hates it. His whole body aches to start fucking you, hips twitching, cock pulsing but his chest hurts and he needs to hear you say it.

“Baby. Taehyung…" 

You take his face in your hands, rolling your hips as you kiss him and his cry is muffled by your mouth.

He’d thought that making love to you when he still had his wings was overwhelming but this..how hot and slick you were around him, how your cunt sucked at him when he started to move…this blotted out everything else, all the fear and rage until there was nothing but need.

"Ah, Jagiya…fuck…” He’s surprised to hear himself groaning out the curse word he’s heard from your lips in moments, fucking you so hard your back is sliding up and down the wall.

You’re whimpering, rolling your hips against his, and when you come he groans your name, babbling sudden praises, barely able to string a sentence together. 

“Ah, so good, Jagi, your cunt, fuck… I’m gonna fill you up, don’t want you to shower…want to be leaking out of you all day, yeah?”

You cry out and clench around him and his balls seize up and black spots appear in front of his eyes when he comes, letting out that feral growl again, thrusting into you once, twice, sliding you up the wall.

He’s shocked at himself when he keeps fucking you, his come making you slick and sloppy, and it hurts almost as much as it feels good but isn’t that what love is? Love is wrapped up in pain just as much as pleasure and Taehyung wants to embrace it because it’s you and he’s left everything he knows and you’re all he has and because loving you is like breathing, he’s done it for so long now.

You’re just whining and kissing him over and over when he lifts you, takes you to the bed, being careful not to slip out of you.

“God,” you whimper, clutching at his back, still careful around the scars where his wings were torn off, “Tae… what’s gotten into you?”

He grunts, not knowing how to answer, kissing you hard again, hips moving so fast his abdominal muscles are straining.

Pain is giving way to just pleasure and he needs to come again but he also needs to keep fucking you until he doesn’t want to scream thinking of someone else’s hands on you, someone who could take you away and leave him fallen and broken and alone.

“Tae, Tae, Tae,” you chant, bucking your hips and it’s over before he wants it to be, he’s spilling another load inside you and moaning against your mouth.

When he pulls out he cups his hand against your cunt again as if to keep you full of him, possessive, wanting to mark you everywhere as his.

“Baby?” You ask when he’s lying on his back, exhausted, muscles aching from overexertion.

He hums a little, breathing hard, trying to give you a smile, but it’s weak.

“What’s wrong?”

His throat works and he rolls over to look at you. It’s quick, how the anger rises again, how the thoughts come right back like they’d just been lurking at the back of his head. 

“Where were you?" 

"Tae, I told you…”

“How do I know that’s the truth? How do I know when I can’t see you?” He bursts out, frustrated, gnawing at his bottom lip.

You frown, eyes flashing. “You trust me.”

“How? How do I do that, Jagi?”

“I know this is hard, Taehyung. I know it’s hard but you trust me because you love me.”

“When you went out, before all this, before I fell, you were always meeting someone,” he blurts.

You’ve got your jaw clenched, chin jutting out like it did when you were angry and he wants to take it back, has panic scratching at his insides.

“Are you calling me a whore, Taehyung?” You say, softly, sitting up on the bed and he holds his hands out to put them on your arms and when you pull away it’s like a punch to the gut.

“No. No, I just…” He can’t find the words to explain what he means.

He watches you, a lump in his throat, as you get dressed.

“Where are you going?” It’s a hoarse cry and he’s scrambling off the bed, not caring that he’s naked when he follows you into the kitchen.

“Out,” you bark, and he follows you to the door, drops to his knees in front of you because there’s no more dignity or pride left in him, not after today.

“Don’t,” he gasps, feeling like he can’t breathe, clutching at your dress, and when you try and tug it away he just grasps harder, a sob catching in his throat. “Don’t, please, Jagiya…Y/n…don’t leave me.”

Your eyes soften when you look down at him. “It’s okay, Tae. I just…I need a minute.”

But he’s too far gone, sobbing, face pressed into your stomach. “I don’t know how to do this without you, Jagi. I don’t know how to do anything without you. Don’t leave me alone, please-” 

“I’ll..I’ll be back, Tae, just…just give me a few minutes.” 

You finally wrench yourself away and walk out and if he had the strength he’d follow you out, naked and vulnerable, but he can’t do anything but put his face in his hands and cry because it’s all too much, the crack in his chest, the ache in his throat, how his stomach feels sick.

By the time you come back, he’s lost hope entirely. 

🔥

Jongin doesn’t realize he’s at the bar Maria had worked at until he looks up to see the neon sign, and he lets out a long breath.

She’s standing outside, back leaned against the brick, and she drops the cigarette she was about to light when she sees him, crying out his name.

Jongin had thought it would hurt less now, hearing his name on her lips after all this time, two years further corrupting his soul with tasks Taemin assigned.

Instead, it’s like she’s snared him through the heart, and there’s a line drawing him to her.

He picks up her cigarette and pops it in his mouth, leans toward her, and she lights it with a shaking hand.

“Where…where have you been?” She asks in a broken voice, and he laughs before taking a long drag.

“In hell, mostly.”

Maria’s throat is working, and Jongin watches the long line of her neck, finds her unmarked, and he hates how much that pleases him, after everything.

“I’m sorry,” she says brokenly, and tears are standing in her eyes and why does that still hurt him? Why does that still put an arrow through his heart? It makes him angry, how much he wants to hate her and can’t, how much his throat aches with longing.

“You’ve said that before.”

“It was all for nothing. He’s gone and you’re in hell and it was all for nothing,” she chokes out.

The cigarette tastes like ash in his mouth already and he throws it into the night, watching the ember as it hits the street, sighing.

He touches her face and she lets out a little whimper in the back of her throat. God, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts to be this close, smell her scent, her eyes big and liquid and searching his face and when he kisses her mouth it’s bittersweet.

“You’re still breathing, yeah?” He says softly when he pulls away. “You’re still breathing. It wasn’t for nothing. That’s all that matters.”

He hears a sob catch in her chest when he begins to walk away, and there’s that thread again, that pull to her, but he fights it, fights it and the tears that spring to his eyes and descends to hell in a flame.

🔥

You return after only a couple of hours, a little bundle in your arms, and when you walk in, your heart falls. 

Taehyung sits on the floor next to the door, where you’d left him, arms wrapped around his knees, still hiccuping sobs.

“Oh…baby. Baby, I’m sorry.”

He looks up at you as if he’s not quite sure you’re really there and then he clutches at you as you sit down in front of him, tries to take your hands but you’ve got this little bundle.

“It’s okay,” he says hoarsely, gasping in a breath as if he’s been holding it since you’d left. “It’s okay, whatever it is, Jagi, I don’t care, I don’t care if there’s someone else or if-”

His face looks so stricken when you shake your head, as if you’d punched him in the throat, and you hum out comforts.

“No, no, Tae, everything’s okay. There’s no one else.” You chuckle. “Well, except this little guy.”

Taehyung frowns when you unwrap the bundle to reveal a little fluff ball of a puppy, whimpering when he peeks out his head from the blanket you’d had him in.

“Wh…what is that?” Taehyung asks as if scandalized, and you laugh again and his face is wet but he smiles a little shakily back at you.

“It’s a puppy. I found him crying behind our apartment and I thought…I thought he could be your friend, someone to help you when I have to go out. I’ve named him Yeontan.”

Taehyung looks skeptical, so you hand him the little bundle and he brings the puppy close to his face.

The puppy lets out a little bark and Taehyung jumps, but then Yeontan licks at his nose and a big boxy smile breaks out across his face.

“I guess…I guess I could use a friend,” he says softly and cradles the puppy in his arms.

It’s isn’t as if it’s easy, after that, but it helps, you come home and find Taehyung anxious but with Yeontan sitting next to him on the couch, giving you a bark as if he’s expecting praise for protecting him while you were away.

It makes you smile, how when you have to work late, Yeontan curls up on the bed next to Taehyung, and when you slide into bed beside them the puppy always moves to the foot of the bed so that Taehyung can wrap his arms around you.

It makes you smile, the way you’d found Yeontan almost as if it’d been meant to be, and you wonder for a moment if dogs could be guardian angels like Taehyung used to be.

🔥

_Taemin blinks when he sees Jongin, and his smile is slow and his eyes glassy, glass of brown liquid in his hand._

_“You look like you need a drink,” he says, and his words aren’t slurred but it’s a near thing._

_Jongin is shocked, in the two years he’s been working for him he’s never seen him had more than a single drink, and he’d been sure Taemin would be furious that he’d disobeyed orders._

_“Are you…are you drunk?”_

_“Not drunk enough,” Taemin mumbles, and stands a bit unsteadily to pour Jongin a drink._

_Jongin sits down on the stool next to him, suddenly exhausted._

_“What happened to you?” Jongin asks, still a little shocked._

_“A woman,” Taemin says, as he hands him a glass more than half full with liquor, mouth twisting in a bitter smile._

_Jongin barks out a laugh. “We have more in common than I thought.”_

_Taemin sits down in his chair, curling the fingers of one hand around the arm and taking a gulp of his drink with the other._

_“Well, then. Tell me all about it, yeah? I could use a distraction.”_


End file.
